Neji's Superiority Complex
by Dragon.Kaenkage
Summary: In which, Neji talks about himself, and Naruto & Tenten attempt to save the Konohamaru squad. :Crack Fic: Also authored by Emerald ElfSlytherin707.


**Summery: In which, Neji talks about himself, and Naruto & Tenten attempt to save the Konohamaru squad.  
**

**Disclaimer: Neither Dragon nor Emerald claim.**

**A/N: This was authored by both Dragon.Kaenkage and Emerald Elf-Slytherin707. **

**Emerald: I'm better than him though.**

**Dragon: No body's better than Dragon, he was born 1337 and pwnsome! -Wacks emerald over the head and does nice guy pose-**

**Emerald: Ow... -Emerald glares-**

**Dragon: -Whimper-**

**Emerald: Anyway... this is the first thing we've written together, but expect many more!**

**Enjoy! **

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**Neji's Superiority Complex**

"Good afternoon, this is _the_ Hyuuga Neji-sama." Neji introduced himself, pointing to his chest with an air of supreme importance. "The Neji will be filling in for Ebisu-san today, as he is feeling ill with Hepatitis."

The genin shared a look of concern at the jounin's sudden appearance, about to question him when said jounin loudly cleared his throat.

Neji pointed a finger in Konahamaru's face sharply, silencing him.

"First rule!" He proclaimed, "Always listen to the Neji. Never defy his divine logic. For this is _blasphemy_." Neji lectured Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi.

"Does Neji-sensei always talk in the third-person?" Moegi whispered to Konohamaru, who shrugged helplessly in response.

"Second rule!" Neji turned on Moegi, giving her an accusing glare. "The Neji's name must never be spoken. This is also _blasphemy_. Refer to the Neji as 'sensei' only."

Konohamaru raised an eyebrow questioningly at the man. A teacher with a superiority complex was mildly disconcerting. He tugged on Neji's robe to grab his attention.

"Sensei!" Konohamaru called.

"Third rule! Never touch the Neji. This is _heresy_!" Neji answered, seemingly disgusted by the boy.

Konohamaru froze with fear; not at the raised voice, but at the disturbing fact that he would have to deal with this man_ all_ day. Just as the thought was implanted grimly in his mind, Tenten and Naruto happened by and came upon the group.

"Hey Neji, Konohamaru!" Naruto greeted.

In unison, Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi shouted: "Yes! Naruto's here!"

"Hey Tenten, Naruto. The Neji was just running these guys through his 'Three-Rule-Process'." Neji informed the two, nodding his own approval.

Tenten buried her face in her hands and muttered: "Oh Jesus, you don't mean that blasphemy crap do you?"

Naruto looked back and forth between the two confusedly. "Is there another Neji, or can you do the Kage Bunshin now or something?"

Tenten turned sternly to Naruto, as though about to deliver some grim news. "While you were gone, and when Neji-kun became a jounin, his superiority complex took another step up."

"The Neji does NOT have an ego!" Neji protested loudly.

"Then why are you speaking in the third-person?" Naruto asked, recoiling at the clearly unstable state Neji was in.

"Because the Neji is so great that this mortal form is not worthy of uttering the words 'I' or 'me' or 'my' when referring to the Neji!" He answered with a tantrum. He then sighed as though exasperated, "Never mind. Do not even _attempt_ to defy the Neji's divine logic."

Naruto and Tenten stared at 'The Neji' for a moment, as he then leaned down, one hand cupped to the side of his mouth.

"First rule." He whispered to Moegi confidingly.

She raised an eyebrow at the man. "Ahh… Yes sensei."

He nodded his approval.

Naruto decided to step in, "Ah, hey, 'The Neji'," he looked to Tenten for reassurance, and she gave him a subtle thumbs-up, "Your all mighty and powerful, right?"

The Neji seemed pleased the conversation had turned back to the only subject that mattered; himself. He nodded enthusiastically. "And prettier than you." He said with a smile.

Naruto was silent for a moment. "Right. Anyway." He stepped closer to the jounin, slipping his arm around Neji's shoulders, and whispered to him, "You don't wanna' be stuck with these lousy kids, do ya?"

Neji stiffened, "NO touching the Neji!" He wailed.

Naruto jumped away from him, "Right! Sorry, sorry!" he said apologetically, then stepped closer again, careful not to touch the now wide-eyed Hyuuga.

"As I was saying," Naruto told him, "These kids are _so below_ you, right?"

The Neji seemed to ponder this, as though it were a great realisation, "Yeah," he muttered then, a wild look in his eyes, and grand grin spreading over his face, "The Neji…"

"Yes…" Naruto said coaxingly, "The Neji…"

Tenten then decided to step in, "Well," She piped up in a generous tone, "We could, you know, take those kids off of the Neji's hands, since he's so busy and important."

Neji's eyes seemed to light up, "Yeah! The Neji!" He suddenly yelled, grinning at the genin below him as though sharing some great knowledge.

They merely nodded, desperate to get away from the man. "Just keep smiling," Konohamaru whispered urgently to the others.

Neji then turned on Naruto and Tenten, "You two will take these," He shuddered visibly, "_Children,_ off of the Neji's oh-so-beautiful hands." He told them in a demanding voice.

"Sure, ah, whatever!" Naruto then yelled as he grabbed the kids, they in turn gripping him like their lives depended on it.

"We'll just be going now!" Tenten shouted after them, as they all ran from the delusional Neji.

In response, Neji shouted after their retreating figures: "The Neji!"

Naruto and the others only ran faster.

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**A/N: Ta da!**

**Emerald: I rather like it. It was his idea though, I just wrote the second half.**

**Dragon: -Grins with the same air of importance as Neji-  
**

**Emerald: The Dragon has a superioty complex.  
**

**Dragon: And proud of it! -winks-**

**Emerald: ... -sigh-**

_Dragon_

**& **

**-Emerald- **


End file.
